Domo Arigato Dr Roboto?

Recently I went to the doctor's office, and knowing my previous experience with doctors resulted in 4 different doctors and 4 different diagnosis, I wasn't looking forward to it. So I figured I would do the research before and self diagnose myself an see if the doctor agreed with me. Lo an behold, he did, said I was pretty much right on, wrote my prescription and I was then on my way. As I was leaving, and reminiscing of some of the inabilities of doctors. Sticking to the theme of this blog, being slightly outrageous to stupidly insane. I determined that, doctors can and will be replaced by robots.

Yes, Robots. From my bare basic knowledge, everyday doctors, your common GP (General Practitioner) can be replaced by a robot which is database driven for information purposes. Where you don't have to answer questions like, "Are you allergic to this or that?" or "Have you been sick in the past". A robot could pull up the data of a patients medical history and then determine what prescription would be the most suitable.

The human body has not changed for at least the last 100 years. This can easily be programmed into a robot using complex algorithms. Knee bone connected to the...hip bone....etc. Robots with built in computers could determine what ails you and what prescription can suit you through scanning and knowing your medical history.

Currently, there is a varying degree of expertise in the profession. The differences between a 50 year old physician and a new graduate are quite extensive. With robots, this discrepancy wouldn't exist since each Robot would be as competent as the next. You won't have to worry if your dumb ass doctor (oxymoron?) giving you an incorrect diagnosis or a prescription that doesn't suit you.

As a generalization, I feel a lot of these diagnosis's are procedure based, as in the eliminate the options based on what you ate last, what you're allergic to, what your previous medical history is, etc. Once they determined that, they match your symptoms to some condition that's written in a book. If all these descriptions were available online (which there are) could be cross referenced with what the patient is experiencing and their previous history and also other patients with similar symptoms, I think this would definitly eliminate the massive wait times, the general inefficiency of the medical practice.

I recently read this article microchips which are the size of rice kernels, to be planted within patients. These microchips could provide the a patients medical history.

The American Medical Association has endorsed the use of implantable microchips to help reduce medical errors and adverse drug reactions. “Passive tags,” implanted under the skin with a needle, contain identification numbers that can be scanned by a radio frequency reader and then used to retrieve a patient’s medical records. Tags approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration contain such data as the presence of a pacemaker or chronic disease.
It said the chips may help to identify patients, "thereby improving the safety and efficiency of patient care," reports the latest issue of the Canadian Medical Association Journal.

The article was found in the Toronto Star can be read here.


Another article I came across while formulating my ideas is from MSNBC regarding another pilot program involving RoboDoc's. The 200-pound (90-kilogram) robots stand about 5 feet (1.5 meters) tall. They have flat video screens for heads, and video cameras serve as their eyes and ears. The aim of the technology isn't to replace human doctors, but to make it more convenient for doctors to check in with their patients, and for patients to get quick access to personal physicians who aren't at the hospital. It is just a matter of time before this type of technology can completely take over that position. More can be read here about it.

Also, imagine the hit television series that would be produced by this new RoboDoc hype. First there would be EER (Electro Emergency Room). Where a crack team of ER robots take care of patients in the ER with zany results. Housing Mechanism MDDR-Ram 1.0, This one is about an angry robot doctor who has been programed to follow the rules...his own. Last but not least my favorite show, The Grey Robot's Anatomy. This show revolves around a scandalous Grey RoboDoc who just can't keep her hardware closed. Her emoticon chip has been programmed without logic algorithms. Watch as she tries her luck with RoboSurgeon and Animal RoboDoc. These are just an example of the types of shows we might be in for.

DISCLAIMER: This is by no way a disrespect to the the doctors and nurses and everyone in the medical profession who are saving lives, every day at the hospital emergency room or doctor's office. Their profession is quite stressful and engaging and could not be done by your average Joe Schmo.

The Serial Killers Club: Funnier than it Sounds

I've recently began reading a book called The Serial Killers Club by Jeff Povey. This novel is a black comedy, no not like Norbit, more of a satire involving a club of well...serial killers and one man's journey of trying to be accepted, and just having a sense of belonging. Our protagonist is a Dougie who's accidentally joined this club and his having a hard time staying in, since members keep finding out he's not a "Skiller". Even though he claims to be a good person and not a dirty "skiller" like all the others, our narrator fits the profile like a bloody glove. He is withdrawn and has a desperate need for acceptance with some obsessive-compulsive tendencies and is quite self-conscious about his height. Normally, these qualities wouldn't equate to violent behavior, but in the right environment and the right circumstances, you never know.


This novel is extremely funny yet disturbing at times since it lets you into the psyche of serial killers and how they operate. There are clever ironies through out. The author does an excellent job in describing the various "Skillers" and their different personalities and styles. This is Jeff Povey's first novel and he is prominently known from his writing on the British sitcom Eastenders. This novel moves along like a movie, and a good movie at that: it's graphic, witty and funny. There's no way this book won't make it quickly to the screen and it's good to read it before it gets cast. As I read it I've laughed out loud many times, not as much as Ant Farm, but still quite a bit. There are disturbing parts that make you question your own psyche but thats neither here or there....(haha)

From the back cover:

When our unlikely hero stumbles into the path of a serial killer, he has no choice but to defend himself-and ends up killing the killer. Shocked by his own strength, he then goes through the dead man's wallet and finds the damnedest thing: a personal ad inviting the killer to join a party hosted by Errol Flynn. Errol Flynn? Isn't he dead?

What begins with passing curiosity soon becomes uncontrollable obsession, forcing our hero to fly to Chicago to join the party. From the moment he steps into Grillers and meets eighteen "skillers"-serial killers, to the uninitiated-his life is never the same. Their name: the Serial Killers Club. Their game: to share the thrill of the hunt and to make sure no two members target the same victims. With the monikers of old Hollywood stars masking the skillers' identities, their ranks include "William Holden," "Tallulah Bankhead," "Richard Burton," and before long, "Douglas Fairbanks Jr.," our hero himself.

But "Dougie" has no intention of wasting innocent victims. Instead, with a government special agent on his tail, he devises a perfect plan to knock off the members of the club one by one. But what will happen when they notice their numbers dropping? Dougie doesn't have an MO and he's not really a bloodthirsty killer. Or is he?

Introducing a brilliant, witty new voice to the world of thrillers, THE SERIAL KILLERS CLUB is fresh, frightening, and darkly funny

So far I've had trouble putting it down, it is that good. I recommend this book to anyone looking for an easy and entertaining read and is interested in crime based novels.


I'm out

peace!

Accidental Development

A discussion I was having with some colleagues occured at lunch revolving around someone's yogurt. We were discussing on how crazy flavours are developed. I firmly believe that most if not all products that are developed....by accident. This applies especially to products being developed in the mass production environment.

I envision the conversation going like this between 2 employees on the production floor:

Employee #1: Alright Boss, I put the Mango flavour extracts into Vat #1.

Manager: You did what!? Vat 1 contains the Strawberry yogurt!....Oh man, the boss is gonna kill me, this is the 2nd screw up this week! First the Blueberry in the Orange Vat...now this.

Employee #1: You got to be fucking kidding me?! Again!? I swear those Vats were labeled wrong. How am I supposed to know whats in 'em...Please don't fire me, I have kids in colle-

Manager: Ok 0k, let me think....THINK...Ok lets just get rid of these horrible...horrible mistakes, hopefully no one finds out.

Marketing Guy: Hey guys whats going on?

Employee #1/Future inventor of Strawberry Mango Surprise : Oh shit, I mean ...Hey! ...(eyes shift nervously)...We're just chilling you know...hanging out....

Manager: (points at Em#1) He just mixed the Strawberry and Mango Flavours together!! I swear I didn't know anything about it....Please don't tell corporate...I'm barely hanging on here, especially after that aquarium incident...They'll take my house and my wife she'll kill me, (starts sobbing)

Marketing Guy: Wait, wait slow down a minute...let me think...I think we can do something with this...

Voila!! Strawberry Mango Surprise!

I'm sure it doesn't get developed exactly like this but you get the idea. There are many significant products that were developed by accident such as Penicillin and Viagra. Viagra was to relieve heart conditions and blood pressure, with abnormal side effects of course. While it could be said that there is an experimental component of development of new flavours and products. I feel that it mostly combinations of existing ideas with modifications once the team realizes they have a great idea on their hands. The marketer's dream, turning everyday mishaps into multi million dollar ideas.

I'm out.

peace!

Random YouTube Magic Part 2

As the NBA playoffs progress I've begun realizing how much I need a PVR so I can fast forward these awful commercials. The commercials that I particularly despise revolve around magician or illusionist David Blaine. Honesty, who hired this guy, with his stupid theories on why Kobe scores...magnets?! really? oh and lets not forget that if someone steps on a certain spot on the court, another player will catapult to the rim for a thunderous dunk.

His monotonous voice does not create any illusion on how crappy these commercials are. He sounds as if he's smoked way too much reefer in his day and is high as balls. I don't even know how he can even be considered a magician. Wheres the magic in living in a fucking box for a week in your own waste? by this same logic we can assume that all homeless people fall into the same category. Lets not forget the literal chilling out in the block of ice without dying of hypothermia trick. His latest illusion is the Drowning Alive trick where he hangs out in a ball of water for a week, and yes he does have a resuscitation unit like a scuba diver dangling in the center...just in case he needs some air. Where's the magic in that??.... I digress.

I found another David Blaine Street Magic video. He's terrorizing the same two idiots as last time. What the F?

Enjoy.

Ant Farm - Jon Stewart says its Hilarious too!

I've recently started reading a book that was recommended by a basketball website SLAM magazine. The book is called Ant Farm (and other desperate situations) by Simon Rich. This book is a compilation of short essays, stories and monologues. The author displays a knack for creating humor from scenarios of discomfort and despair. There's the son who unwittingly exposes his single mother's promiscuity with the local hockey team, the nerd who becomes cool in the eyes of his Bulgarian pen pal through misinterpretation. Jon Stewart lends his name for recommendations and even he says "open this book, anywhere, begin reading, and you will laugh. I'm not kidding-do it! I can wait...[humming Jeopardy! theme song]...See?".

Ant Farm is simple, smart and easily understandable, and that’s a potent combination these days. It is definitely targeted to younger generations and is very easy to read. The only real knock against it is that it is ridiculously slender, I mean I don't like my books on no Rosie O' Donnell shit but I'm sayin, I could finish the book in one sitting.

An excerpt from the book called I still remember when I got my first Calculator:

teacher: Okay, everyone, today we're going to go over some word problems.
me: What the hell else do you have back there? A magical pen that writes book reports by itself some kind of automatic social studies worksheet that....that files itself out? What the hell is going on?
teacher: If a farmer farms five acres of land a day-
me: So that's it, then. The past three years have been a total farce. All this time I've been thinking, "Well, this is pretty hard and frustrating but I guess these are useful skills to have." Meanwhile there was a whole bin of these things in your desk. We could have jumped straight to graphing . Unless, of course, there's some kind of graphing calculator!
teacher: There is. You get one in ninth grade.
me: Is this... Am I on TV? Is this a prank show?
teacher: No.

Gold! Jerry! Gold!!

I literally laugh out loud or LOL if you will, at the end of each little monologue or story. I highly recommend this book to anyone who enjoys thought provoking, rib spliting literature.

I'm out.

Peace!

Tribute to Dirk, Kobe and Nash

Came across this video while browsing through YouTube. Its a tribute to Dirk Nowitzki, Kobe Bryant and Steve Nash of hilarious proportions.

Enjoy.

Random YouTube Magic

Whether is with a deck of playing cards or making coins disappear or making my stuff disappear, my little cousins are amatuer magicians. They're getting good at it and they enjoy it. Always with the "Tony, let me show you something" and proceed to pull out a deck of cards followed by a "Oh shit! Where'd it go??" followed by me saying "Tell me right now how you did that, Right now". I'm surprised magic tricks...or illusions are not more popular with society. I do see this increasing with acts like Criss Angel:Mind Freak, but he's just weird.

I wish I knew how to do magic, especially hilarious magic like GOB from Arrested Development or David Blaine...

On with the show, Enjoy.