A Commercial Offense

I've experienced something that I've never thought would occur to my at the hands of multi-national corporations. They have made commercials which could be deemed offensive. While driving I heard a commercial about a McMuffin from McDonalds and while watching TV, the new commercial for Coke Zero. Rather than having commercials where people are dancing and efficient uses of product placement. McDonald's decided to play the race card, while Coke poked fun at airplane crashes.

While these commercials seem harmless to the naked eye, I wonder what marketing genius came up with these ideas and then who they were accepted by. The radio commercial involves a dude asking about an egg McMuffin. Then while arguing with another employee asks his co working "Sanjeet" who replies with his best Apu impersonation about not knowing anything what a McMuffin is or on what the conversation even pertains to. Even if it is mildly offensive, why the loud and atrocious accent? and then clear indication that "Sanjeet" could not understand English? I would really like to see who the target market and demographic this commercial was aimed for. If the ad campaign's goal was to be comical then why even add the component of an extra Indian dude, it could be done with your standard Susan or Joe blow. What was the goal of this commercial? Is it supposed to want me to eat a McMuffin? Just because the resident Indian IT guy doesn't know about? Maybe its because I'm Indian and I don't like my people being portrayed as blithering fools or being used as a cheap side show for a horrible ad campaign, either way..I digress.

This brings me to my next point about commercials becoming to liberal and insensitive to its target audience especially by multinational corporations. The latest Coke Zero ad revolves around two pilots flying a cargo plane. One of the pilots is flying the plane out of control because he thinks he's dreaming because Coke Zero has no calories or some bullshit like that. The commercial shows the plan flying all over the place and almost crashes into the tower where radio personnel operate. The end of the commercial shows the speeding plane trying to land upside down. Can Coke really be that callus to the events of 9/11 or other airplane accidents? Again this brings me to what the marketing geniuses were thinking? How does this apply to the main audience? The commercials main goal should want me to drink a Coke Zero, not think about how the people at Coke can be so stupid. This can't be out of the box thinking, since it doesn't any achieve goals indirectly. It almost shows that pilot is hallucinating because of the Coke. Maybe that was the selling point.

Multinational corporations should be held accountable to their national ad campaigns. These two examples Coke and McDonalds already have profits in the millions which means that non conventional attempts at advertising should be acceptable? Maybe I'm being too politically correct, but i think it fundamentally goes back to the goal of a marketing campaign. Coke should take lessons out of Pepsi's book and use P.Diddy to sell or a dancing Jimmy Falon. McDonalds really needs to make a cool mascot like that Burger King's King. Now those commercials are funny. Other global companies should take notice and not make these advertising blunders and try to be more in tune with the social consequences of mis-marketed products.

I know I won't be having Coke Zero or a McMuffin any time soon.

2 Day Work Week

An idea I've been trying to pitch at work, mostly at lunch when I can get anyone to listen to my hunger induced ramblings. Today I pitched an idea that has been siting with me every Wednesday morning before work. I think it would be great if we had Wednesdays off, which would split the work week up into 2 mini 2-day work weeks. People at work said that they'd rather have Friday's off like a regular so long weekends.

This would revolutionalize the work culture and way we live our day to day lives. I proposed the idea that with a day off in the middle, you could recharge your battery and have a day to do all those bullshit errands you have to run on the weekend since you don't got time during the week because the boss is working you like a fucking doggg!!--- I mean... a day that would allow you to do all the shit you don't want to do on the weekend. Which leaves the weekend to relax or do whatever you want, stress free.

It would also provide the sense of accomplishment, since the weekend would coming be earlier. I think this would be a good idea to change the work culture stressing the "go go go" lifestyle. This would be similar to the siesta in Spain, minus you know...the sleeping... I'm sayin, It would lighten the workload and ease stress in general because Hey! you're working less! I know employers won't have it but maybe half the hours could be made up through out the week. I'll stay an hour longer if I know my day off is a day away. There could be an argument made on the type of implications it could be made on the socio-economic aspects of society. The retail businesses, restaurants and malls would have a substantial increase in revenue, while the corporate and manufacturing industry would suffer. There are many pro's an cons which should be discussed by the labour board and...the prime minister.

I really wish it was the weekend now.

I'm out!

Peace.

The Serial Killers Club: Funnier than it Sounds

I've recently began reading a book called The Serial Killers Club by Jeff Povey. This novel is a black comedy, no not like Norbit, more of a satire involving a club of well...serial killers and one man's journey of trying to be accepted, and just having a sense of belonging. Our protagonist is a Dougie who's accidentally joined this club and his having a hard time staying in, since members keep finding out he's not a "Skiller". Even though he claims to be a good person and not a dirty "skiller" like all the others, our narrator fits the profile like a bloody glove. He is withdrawn and has a desperate need for acceptance with some obsessive-compulsive tendencies and is quite self-conscious about his height. Normally, these qualities wouldn't equate to violent behavior, but in the right environment and the right circumstances, you never know.


This novel is extremely funny yet disturbing at times since it lets you into the psyche of serial killers and how they operate. There are clever ironies through out. The author does an excellent job in describing the various "Skillers" and their different personalities and styles. This is Jeff Povey's first novel and he is prominently known from his writing on the British sitcom Eastenders. This novel moves along like a movie, and a good movie at that: it's graphic, witty and funny. There's no way this book won't make it quickly to the screen and it's good to read it before it gets cast. As I read it I've laughed out loud many times, not as much as Ant Farm, but still quite a bit. There are disturbing parts that make you question your own psyche but thats neither here or there....(haha)

From the back cover:

When our unlikely hero stumbles into the path of a serial killer, he has no choice but to defend himself-and ends up killing the killer. Shocked by his own strength, he then goes through the dead man's wallet and finds the damnedest thing: a personal ad inviting the killer to join a party hosted by Errol Flynn. Errol Flynn? Isn't he dead?

What begins with passing curiosity soon becomes uncontrollable obsession, forcing our hero to fly to Chicago to join the party. From the moment he steps into Grillers and meets eighteen "skillers"-serial killers, to the uninitiated-his life is never the same. Their name: the Serial Killers Club. Their game: to share the thrill of the hunt and to make sure no two members target the same victims. With the monikers of old Hollywood stars masking the skillers' identities, their ranks include "William Holden," "Tallulah Bankhead," "Richard Burton," and before long, "Douglas Fairbanks Jr.," our hero himself.

But "Dougie" has no intention of wasting innocent victims. Instead, with a government special agent on his tail, he devises a perfect plan to knock off the members of the club one by one. But what will happen when they notice their numbers dropping? Dougie doesn't have an MO and he's not really a bloodthirsty killer. Or is he?

Introducing a brilliant, witty new voice to the world of thrillers, THE SERIAL KILLERS CLUB is fresh, frightening, and darkly funny

So far I've had trouble putting it down, it is that good. I recommend this book to anyone looking for an easy and entertaining read and is interested in crime based novels.


I'm out

peace!

I Let My Watch Talk For Me

The evolution of cellular phones has been one of man's greatest technological achievements. From the 'totally rad' Zach Morris big block phones to phones that can worn. Thats right, this company from Australia has produced a mobile wrist watch, complete with BlueTooth headset.

The M500 Watch phone was made for spies, I mean mobile enthusiasts everywhere. The M500 is the size of a watch, complete with leather straps for attaching securely round your wrist. What it's lacking in size it's certainly not lacking in features, full sms functionality via the 1.5 inch touch screen, full blue tooth compatibility, Dial Up Networking, Games, Mp4 Player, 128 Mb Memory, USB connectivity for software uploads, downloads, 199 number memory storage, 40 embedded real tones, amongst other things.

From Engadget Mobile

SMS Technology claim this mobile has an impressive 80 hour standby with 200 minutes of talk-time, although whether the novelty of talking to your chums through your wrist would last 200 minutes is another matter.

From Gizmodo

Here come the cellphone watchs with this $499 Dick Tracy-esque model from SMS Technology Australia being the second one we've seen this month. Called by its maker "the world's smallest wrist phone," My MobileWatch has an internal antenna, voice dialing and hooks up to Bluetooth, so imagine yourself wearing a tiny headset and just nonchalantly using your watch as a phone.

From what we could gather on the company's website, the MobileWatch is not quite ready to ship yet, but they're telling us to hurry because there will only be 30,000 watches available. Both of those little pieces of information make us slightly nervous. With its GSM functionality, the company says you can place an existing sim card into the unit, and then you'll be making phone calls from your wrist. Hey, it's just like Dick Tracy used to do, but better. His was just a two-way radio, with no Bluetooth!

More photos can be seen here.

It has all the features of a phone from 2005 but hey, it fits on your wrist. I like the one with the brown leather strap, it looks ballin'. All this bad boy needs is a camera an some way I can check my email, an then we good to go! Only thing is you might look crazy talking into your watch but hey that's never stopped you before.

"My watch saying hi shorty we can be friends" - 50 Cent

Now you can txt that too.


I'm out.

peace!

Accidental Development

A discussion I was having with some colleagues occured at lunch revolving around someone's yogurt. We were discussing on how crazy flavours are developed. I firmly believe that most if not all products that are developed....by accident. This applies especially to products being developed in the mass production environment.

I envision the conversation going like this between 2 employees on the production floor:

Employee #1: Alright Boss, I put the Mango flavour extracts into Vat #1.

Manager: You did what!? Vat 1 contains the Strawberry yogurt!....Oh man, the boss is gonna kill me, this is the 2nd screw up this week! First the Blueberry in the Orange Vat...now this.

Employee #1: You got to be fucking kidding me?! Again!? I swear those Vats were labeled wrong. How am I supposed to know whats in 'em...Please don't fire me, I have kids in colle-

Manager: Ok 0k, let me think....THINK...Ok lets just get rid of these horrible...horrible mistakes, hopefully no one finds out.

Marketing Guy: Hey guys whats going on?

Employee #1/Future inventor of Strawberry Mango Surprise : Oh shit, I mean ...Hey! ...(eyes shift nervously)...We're just chilling you know...hanging out....

Manager: (points at Em#1) He just mixed the Strawberry and Mango Flavours together!! I swear I didn't know anything about it....Please don't tell corporate...I'm barely hanging on here, especially after that aquarium incident...They'll take my house and my wife she'll kill me, (starts sobbing)

Marketing Guy: Wait, wait slow down a minute...let me think...I think we can do something with this...

Voila!! Strawberry Mango Surprise!

I'm sure it doesn't get developed exactly like this but you get the idea. There are many significant products that were developed by accident such as Penicillin and Viagra. Viagra was to relieve heart conditions and blood pressure, with abnormal side effects of course. While it could be said that there is an experimental component of development of new flavours and products. I feel that it mostly combinations of existing ideas with modifications once the team realizes they have a great idea on their hands. The marketer's dream, turning everyday mishaps into multi million dollar ideas.

I'm out.

peace!

Random YouTube Magic Part 2

As the NBA playoffs progress I've begun realizing how much I need a PVR so I can fast forward these awful commercials. The commercials that I particularly despise revolve around magician or illusionist David Blaine. Honesty, who hired this guy, with his stupid theories on why Kobe scores...magnets?! really? oh and lets not forget that if someone steps on a certain spot on the court, another player will catapult to the rim for a thunderous dunk.

His monotonous voice does not create any illusion on how crappy these commercials are. He sounds as if he's smoked way too much reefer in his day and is high as balls. I don't even know how he can even be considered a magician. Wheres the magic in living in a fucking box for a week in your own waste? by this same logic we can assume that all homeless people fall into the same category. Lets not forget the literal chilling out in the block of ice without dying of hypothermia trick. His latest illusion is the Drowning Alive trick where he hangs out in a ball of water for a week, and yes he does have a resuscitation unit like a scuba diver dangling in the center...just in case he needs some air. Where's the magic in that??.... I digress.

I found another David Blaine Street Magic video. He's terrorizing the same two idiots as last time. What the F?

Enjoy.

Ant Farm - Jon Stewart says its Hilarious too!

I've recently started reading a book that was recommended by a basketball website SLAM magazine. The book is called Ant Farm (and other desperate situations) by Simon Rich. This book is a compilation of short essays, stories and monologues. The author displays a knack for creating humor from scenarios of discomfort and despair. There's the son who unwittingly exposes his single mother's promiscuity with the local hockey team, the nerd who becomes cool in the eyes of his Bulgarian pen pal through misinterpretation. Jon Stewart lends his name for recommendations and even he says "open this book, anywhere, begin reading, and you will laugh. I'm not kidding-do it! I can wait...[humming Jeopardy! theme song]...See?".

Ant Farm is simple, smart and easily understandable, and that’s a potent combination these days. It is definitely targeted to younger generations and is very easy to read. The only real knock against it is that it is ridiculously slender, I mean I don't like my books on no Rosie O' Donnell shit but I'm sayin, I could finish the book in one sitting.

An excerpt from the book called I still remember when I got my first Calculator:

teacher: Okay, everyone, today we're going to go over some word problems.
me: What the hell else do you have back there? A magical pen that writes book reports by itself some kind of automatic social studies worksheet that....that files itself out? What the hell is going on?
teacher: If a farmer farms five acres of land a day-
me: So that's it, then. The past three years have been a total farce. All this time I've been thinking, "Well, this is pretty hard and frustrating but I guess these are useful skills to have." Meanwhile there was a whole bin of these things in your desk. We could have jumped straight to graphing . Unless, of course, there's some kind of graphing calculator!
teacher: There is. You get one in ninth grade.
me: Is this... Am I on TV? Is this a prank show?
teacher: No.

Gold! Jerry! Gold!!

I literally laugh out loud or LOL if you will, at the end of each little monologue or story. I highly recommend this book to anyone who enjoys thought provoking, rib spliting literature.

I'm out.

Peace!