Welcome

Welcome to my blog! Feel free to comment, but please sign your comments so I know who is stalking me. I appreciate the feedback. Also, visitors please beware that I'm generally pretty sarcastic; don't take anything on this blog too seriously!

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

I Let My Watch Talk For Me

The evolution of cellular phones has been one of man's greatest technological achievements. From the 'totally rad' Zach Morris big block phones to phones that can worn. Thats right, this company from Australia has produced a mobile wrist watch, complete with BlueTooth headset.

The M500 Watch phone was made for spies, I mean mobile enthusiasts everywhere. The M500 is the size of a watch, complete with leather straps for attaching securely round your wrist. What it's lacking in size it's certainly not lacking in features, full sms functionality via the 1.5 inch touch screen, full blue tooth compatibility, Dial Up Networking, Games, Mp4 Player, 128 Mb Memory, USB connectivity for software uploads, downloads, 199 number memory storage, 40 embedded real tones, amongst other things.

From Engadget Mobile

SMS Technology claim this mobile has an impressive 80 hour standby with 200 minutes of talk-time, although whether the novelty of talking to your chums through your wrist would last 200 minutes is another matter.

From Gizmodo

Here come the cellphone watchs
with this $499 Dick Tracy-esque model from SMS Technology Australia being the second one we've seen this month. Called by its maker "the world's smallest wrist phone," My MobileWatch has an internal antenna, voice dialing and hooks up to Bluetooth, so imagine yourself wearing a tiny headset and just nonchalantly using your watch as a phone.

From what we could gather on the company's website, the MobileWatch is not quite ready to ship yet, but they're telling us to hurry because there will only be 30,000 watches available. Both of those little pieces of information make us slightly nervous. With its GSM functionality, the company says you can place an existing sim card into the unit, and then you'll be making phone calls from your wrist. Hey, it's just like Dick Tracy used to do, but better. His was just a two-way radio, with no Bluetooth!


More photos can be seen here.

It has all the features of a phone from 2005 but hey, it fits on your wrist. I like the one with the brown leather strap, it looks ballin'. All this bad boy needs is a camera an some way I can check my email, an then we good to go! Only thing is you might look crazy talking into your watch but hey that's never stopped you before.

"My watch saying hi shorty we can be friends" - 50 Cent

Now you can txt that too.


I'm out.

peace!

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Accidental Development


A discussion I was having with some colleagues occured at lunch revolving around someone's yogurt. We were discussing on how crazy flavours are developed. I firmly believe that most if not all products that are developed....by accident. This applies especially to products being developed in the mass production environment.

I envision the conversation going like this between 2 employees on the production floor:

Employee #1: Alright Boss, I put the Mango flavour extracts into Vat #1.

Manager: You did what!? Vat 1 contains the Strawberry yogurt!....Oh man, the boss is gonna kill me, this is the 2nd screw up this week! First the Blueberry in the Orange Vat...now this.

Employee #1: You got to be fucking kidding me?! Again!? I swear those Vats were labeled wrong. How am I supposed to know whats in 'em...Please don't fire me, I have kids in colle-

Manager: Ok 0k, let me think....THINK...Ok lets just get rid of these horrible...horrible mistakes, hopefully no one finds out.

Marketing Guy: Hey guys whats going on?

Employee #1/Future inventor of Strawberry Mango Surprise : Oh shit, I mean ...Hey! ...(eyes shift nervously)...We're just chilling you know...hanging out....

Manager: (points at Em#1) He just mixed the Strawberry and Mango Flavours together!! I swear I didn't know anything about it....Please don't tell corporate...I'm barely hanging on here, especially after that aquarium incident...They'll take my house and my wife she'll kill me, (starts sobbing)

Marketing Guy: Wait, wait slow down a minute...let me think...I think we can do something with this...

Voila!! Strawberry Mango Surprise!

I'm sure it doesn't get developed exactly like this but you get the idea. There are many significant products that were developed by accident such as Penicillin and Viagra. Viagra was to relieve heart conditions and blood pressure, with abnormal side effects of course. While it could be said that there is an experimental component of development of new flavours and products. I feel that it mostly combinations of existing ideas with modifications once the team realizes they have a great idea on their hands. The marketer's dream, turning everyday mishaps into multi million dollar ideas.

I'm out.

peace!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Random YouTube Magic Part 2

As the NBA playoffs progress I've begun realizing how much I need a PVR so I can fast forward these awful commercials. The commercials that I particularly despise revolve around magician or illusionist David Blaine. Honesty, who hired this guy, with his stupid theories on why Kobe scores...magnets?! really? oh and lets not forget that if someone steps on a certain spot on the court, another player will catapult to the rim for a thunderous dunk.

His monotonous voice does not create any illusion on how crappy these commercials are. He sounds as if he's smoked way too much reefer in his day and is high as balls. I don't even know how he can even be considered a magician. Wheres the magic in living in a fucking box for a week in your own waste? by this same logic we can assume that all homeless people fall into the same category. Lets not forget the literal chilling out in the block of ice without dying of hypothermia trick. His latest illusion is the Drowning Alive trick where he hangs out in a ball of water for a week, and yes he does have a resuscitation unit like a scuba diver dangling in the center...just in case he needs some air. Where's the magic in that??.... I digress.

I found another David Blaine Street Magic video. He's terrorizing the same two idiots as last time. What the F?

Enjoy.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Ant Farm - Jon Stewart says its Hilarious too!


I've recently started reading a book that was recommended by a basketball website SLAM magazine. The book is called Ant Farm (and other desperate situations) by Simon Rich. This book is a compilation of short essays, stories and monologues. The author displays a knack for creating humor from scenarios of discomfort and despair. There's the son who unwittingly exposes his single mother's promiscuity with the local hockey team, the nerd who becomes cool in the eyes of his Bulgarian pen pal through misinterpretation. Jon Stewart lends his name for recommendations and even he says "open this book, anywhere, begin reading, and you will laugh. I'm not kidding-do it! I can wait...[humming Jeopardy! theme song]...See?".

Ant Farm
is simple, smart and easily understandable, and that’s a potent combination these days. It is definitely targeted to younger generations and is very easy to read. The only real knock against it is that it is ridiculously slender, I mean I don't like my books on no Rosie O' Donnell shit but I'm sayin, I could finish the book in one sitting.

An excerpt from the book called I still remember when I got my first Calculator:

teacher: Okay, everyone, today we're going to go over some word problems.
me: What the hell else do you have back there? A magical pen that writes book reports by itself some kind of automatic social studies worksheet that....that files itself out? What the hell is going on?
teacher: If a farmer farms five acres of land a day-
me: So that's it, then. The past three years have been a total farce. All this time I've been thinking, "Well, this is pretty hard and frustrating but I guess these are useful skills to have." Meanwhile there was a whole bin of these things in your desk. We could have jumped straight to graphing . Unless, of course, there's some kind of graphing calculator!
teacher: There is. You get one in ninth grade.
me: Is this... Am I on TV? Is this a prank show?
teacher: No.

Gold! Jerry! Gold!!

I literally laugh out loud or LOL if you will, at the end of each little monologue or story. I highly recommend this book to anyone who enjoys thought provoking, rib spliting literature.

I'm out.

Peace!

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Tribute to Dirk, Kobe and Nash

Came across this video while browsing through YouTube. Its a tribute to Dirk Nowitzki, Kobe Bryant and Steve Nash of hilarious proportions.

Enjoy.

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Where can Quantum Teleportation take you?

The most trying aspect of traveling is the actual transportation from point A to point B. There needs to be a more cost efficient and environmentally friendly method to travel long distances. There are many disadvantages with the current method of travel, especially via airplane. The uncomfortably cramped seats, The delays, the horrible food, The amount of dollars to build accommodating infrastructure basically the overall complexity and inefficiency of the solution. It would be a great accomplishment to develop a new method which would remove the stone age method of travel. One development is through the means of Teleportation. Yes the same kind in Star Trek, phrases like "Beam Me Up Scotty" won't be for members of the Starship Enterprise any more. (FYI I don't like Star Trek or Star Wars or anything involving space)


Teleportation comes from the term Telecommunication and Transportation. Basically the concept revolves around a massive fax machine, where ultimately humans will be the paper being fed into it and a carbon copy being replicated at the destination. We are a long way from transporting entire human beings but scientists have been able to transfer properties of an atom to another atom., which is a break through in itself. Quantum Teleportation will be the next phase of computing, conveniently called Quantum Computing.

The good people at IBM state:
Teleportation is the name given by science fiction writers to the feat of making an object or person disintegrate in one place while a perfect replica appears somewhere else. How this is accomplished is usually not explained in detail, but the general idea seems to be that the original object is scanned in such a way as to extract all the information from it, then this information is transmitted to the receiving location and used to construct the replica, not necessarily from the actual material of the original, but perhaps from atoms of the same kinds, arranged in exactly the same pattern as the original.

A teleportation machine would be like a fax machine, except that it would work on 3-dimensional objects as well as documents, it would produce an exact copy rather than an approximate facsimile, and it would destroy the original in the process of scanning it. A few science fiction writers consider teleporters that preserve the original, and the plot gets complicated when the original and teleported versions of the same person meet; but the more common kind of teleporter destroys the original, functioning as a super transportation device, not as a perfect replicator of souls and bodies.


This study was from 1993!!

A more recent revelation was done as a joint effort between Austria and the United states states that :

The ability to transfer key properties of one particle to another without using any physical link has until now only been achieved with laser light. Experts say being able to do the same with massive particles like atoms could lead to new superfast computers. This development is a long way from the transporters used by Jean-Luc Picard and Captain Kirk in the famous Star Trek TV series. When physicists talk about "teleportation", they are describing the transfer of "quantum states" between separate atoms.

These would be such things as an atom's energy, motion, magnetic field and other physical properties. In the computers of tomorrow, this information would form the qubits (the quantum form of the digital bits 1 and 0) of data processing through the machines. The landmark experiments are being viewed as a major advance in the quest to achieve ultra-fast computers, inside which teleportation could provide a form of invisible "quantum wiring". These machines would be able to handle far bigger and more complex loads than today's super-computers, and at many times their speed.

You can read the entire article here.

Moore's Law states that current architecture design using the traditional transistor model will max out by 2011 which would require a new mechanism and particle transfer medium, basically a new architechture for computing to be done. Teleportation is that medium and new wave of computing. For you non techies out there, this means faster Mindsweeper and alot faster porn!, haha

Teleportation on grand stage would allow instant globalization, where everything can be done face to face, without borders of land an sea. There would be less pollution and the architecture while at first will be burdensome, will eventually become the equivalent of a phone booth. You walk in state your destination and then walk out from a similar phone booth at your destination. Quantum teleportation should be able to take you anywhere in the world conceivably.

Teleportation is among the biggest scientific advancements that we have left to make. Now that I live in Toronto, where the commute traffic say on the 401 is a full-on "catastrofuck," my desire for teleportation technology has grown 10-fold. Sure airplane companies would lose alot of money if this happened. I say jump on the gravy train Air Canada, you can't do any worse!

I'm out.

peace!



Sunday, May 6, 2007

Rock out!

Life would be amazing if you could party really hard, get up in the morning, do whatever you wanted without a care in the world. The life of a Rockstar would be awesome, I mean you get paid (well) to rock out! Rock stars party really hard, wake up in the morning tell the ladies from the night before to leave, and then go have breakfast. Noone is concerned with image or bling bling, the scruffy and dirtier you look, the cooler you are. The funny thing is I don't really, even listen to Rock or Metal. The normal choice for a suburban youth would be to be a rapper. I mean you really dont need that much talent to rhyme some words together, throw a million dollar beat in teh back an we good to go.

Being a rockstar is better than being a rapper because if you're a rapper you have more of an image to worry about. The constant ideals based on the newest or "freshest" gear, the jewlery the cars, etc. Even if a rapper is now made a lot of money and is rich, still feels the pressure of keeping it real and maintaining that hood image. The amount of diamonds that these rappers wear is disgusting, especially watching that movie Blood Diamonds, I realized being a rockstar would be a lot cooler. Also rappers are very flashy and want to be noticed yet, hire a ridiculous amount of security. A rockstar can go unnoticed just because they look like normal people (to a certain extent). A rockstar can just wear whatever clothes, torn ripped, no jewelery an still be famous. Their job is to go on stage and just rock out, do something that they love and get paid really well for it.

Only knock is that the damage that the all the hardcore partying does to these rockers, the hard drugs and constant drinking take years off their life, but they don't care. They're rockstars, they're not supposed to care about anything, which is great. They just don't give a f*uck. All I gotta do now is learn how to play the guitar and then I'm on my way to becoming a Guitar Hero!! (note to self: get the video game)

peace!